Healing from Guilt and Grief—and Learning to Trust Again
By Susan G Mathis
Grief changes us. It seeps into the quiet corners of our hearts, lingers in unexpected moments, and whispers fear into places that once felt safe. In my latest novel, Madison’s Mission, Madison has already lost too much. Her entire family is gone—her parents and siblings back in Ireland, and now her beloved Auntie, who helped get her the lady’s maid position with Mrs. Boldt.
The pain is raw and real, and she carries it quietly, tightly bound with guilt and fear. Now, as she serves the fragile and ill Mrs. Boldt as a lady’s maid, she dreads the thought of another loss. Every connection feels like a risk. Every relationship, a door she’s not sure she can open.
Many of us have known a loss like that—a death, a betrayal, a season of suffering that changes how we love, how we live, and how we trust. Maybe, like Madison, you’ve found yourself closing off your heart in the name of self-protection. After all, if you don’t love deeply, maybe it won’t hurt so deeply when love is lost.
But here’s what grief doesn’t tell you: Closing your heart doesn’t prevent pain—it prevents healing. Grief can feel like a tangled knot, especially when guilt is tied into it. Madison wonders if she could have done more for her family. She carries the invisible weight of “what if” and “if only.” That’s a familiar burden for many of us. We replay our memories, question our choices, and sometimes punish ourselves with the false idea that if we had just done something differently, we could have stopped the pain.
But healing begins when we stop blaming ourselves for what was never in our control. Grief demands gentleness. Guilt needs grace, and healing happens in safe relationships. In Madison’s Mission, Emmett is kind, patient, and persistent. He sees Madison’s walls and she sees his, but he also sees her worth. Still, she resists his kindness—not because she doesn’t care, but because she does. Letting someone into your heart after loss is terrifying. But it’s also essential. God often uses the people around us—safe, trustworthy people—to help us take those first steps toward healing. They remind us that we were made for connection, not isolation.
Yet, trust is rebuilt one small step at a time. Madison doesn’t leap into trust overnight. And neither do we. Trust isn’t about pretending we aren’t afraid—it’s about choosing, moment by moment, to believe that love is still worth the risk. It might look like saying yes to coffee with a friend, or being honest with someone about your pain. It might mean asking for prayer, or letting someone simply sit with you in your sorrow. Each small act builds a bridge back toward trust, both in others and in God.
Above all, healing from grief and guilt is a spiritual journey. Madison learns, as we all must, that God is not distant in our sorrow. He is “close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). We can trust Him with our pain, even when we’re not ready to trust anyone else. He doesn’t rush our healing or shame our fears. Instead, He invites us to bring it all to Him—our tears, our questions, our guarded hearts. And slowly, in His time and in His way, He helps us open our hearts again.
If you’re walking through grief today, know that you are not alone. Like Madison, you may be guarding your heart out of fear. But healing is possible. Love is still real. And trust, though fragile, can grow strong again—one faithful step at a time.
About Madison’s Mission:
Step into the captivating world of Boldt Castle in 1903, where dreams are
forged in the fires of adversity and love.
Madison Murray, the devoted maid to the legendary Louise Boldt, harbors a singular mission—to care for her ailing mistress while hiding her own painful past. Her life takes an unexpected turn when she meets Emmett O’Connor, the distinguished foreman overseeing Boldt Castle’s extravagant construction. Their connection sparks with promise, yet the chasm of class difference and hidden secrets loom large.
Just as their budding romance begins to flourish, tragedy strikes, s
hattering their world. A deadly accident leaves Emmett wrestling with guilt and at the center of an investigation that could unravel everything he holds
dear. Then Madison finds herself ensnared in a dangerous coverup that threatens her very life.
When Mrs. Boldt passes away, Madison is left reeling—jobless and burdened by the weight of her perceived failures. In a world filled with uncertainty, can she summon the strength to move forward and confront her past? Will Emmett rise above his challenges to forge a future alongside the woman who has captured his heart?
Susan G Mathis is an international award-winning, multi-published author of stories set in the beautiful Thousand Islands, her childhood stomping ground in upstate NY. Susan has been published more than thirty times in full-length novels, novellas, and non-fiction books. She has fifteen in her fiction line including, The Fabric of Hope: An Irish Family Legacy, Christmas Charity, Katelyn’s Choice, Devyn’s Dilemma, Sara’s Surprise, Reagan’s Reward, Colleen’s Confession, Peyton’s Promise, Rachel’s Reunion, Mary’s Moment, A Summer at Thousand Island House, Libby’s Lighthouse, Julia’s Joy, Emma’s Engagement and Madison’s Mission. Her book awards include four Illumination Book Awards, four American Fiction Awards, three Indie Excellence Book Awards, five Literary Titan Book Awards, two Golden Scroll Awards, a Living Now Book Award, and a Selah Award. Susan is also a published author of two premarital books, two children’s picture books, stories in a dozen compilations, and hundreds of published articles. Susan makes her home in Northern Virginia and enjoys traveling around the world but returns each summer to enjoy the Thousand Islands. Visit www.SusanGMathis.com/fiction for more.
Susan’s website: https://www.susangmathis.com/fiction-books
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Madison’s Mission book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viMY4EJLRZc
