Healing from Guilt and Grief—and Learning to Trust Again

Healing from Guilt and Grief—and Learning to Trust Again
By Susan G Mathis

Grief changes us. It seeps into the quiet corners of our hearts, lingers in unexpected moments, and whispers fear into places that once felt safe. In my latest novel, Madison’s Mission, Madison has already lost too much. Her entire family is gone—her parents and siblings back in Ireland, and now her beloved Auntie, who helped get her the lady’s maid position with Mrs. Boldt.

The pain is raw and real, and she carries it quietly, tightly bound with guilt and fear. Now, as she serves the fragile and ill Mrs. Boldt as a lady’s maid, she dreads the thought of another loss. Every connection feels like a risk. Every relationship, a door she’s not sure she can open.

Many of us have known a loss like that—a death, a betrayal, a season of suffering that changes how we love, how we live, and how we trust. Maybe, like Madison, you’ve found yourself closing off your heart in the name of self-protection. After all, if you don’t love deeply, maybe it won’t hurt so deeply when love is lost.

But here’s what grief doesn’t tell you: Closing your heart doesn’t prevent pain—it prevents healing. Grief can feel like a tangled knot, especially when guilt is tied into it. Madison wonders if she could have done more for her family. She carries the invisible weight of “what if” and “if only.” That’s a familiar burden for many of us. We replay our memories, question our choices, and sometimes punish ourselves with the false idea that if we had just done something differently, we could have stopped the pain.

But healing begins when we stop blaming ourselves for what was never in our control. Grief demands gentleness. Guilt needs grace, and healing happens in safe relationships. In Madison’s Mission, Emmett is kind, patient, and persistent. He sees Madison’s walls and she sees his, but he also sees her worth. Still, she resists his kindness—not because she doesn’t care, but because she does. Letting someone into your heart after loss is terrifying. But it’s also essential. God often uses the people around us—safe, trustworthy people—to help us take those first steps toward healing. They remind us that we were made for connection, not isolation.

Yet, trust is rebuilt one small step at a time. Madison doesn’t leap into trust overnight. And neither do we. Trust isn’t about pretending we aren’t afraid—it’s about choosing, moment by moment, to believe that love is still worth the risk. It might look like saying yes to coffee with a friend, or being honest with someone about your pain. It might mean asking for prayer, or letting someone simply sit with you in your sorrow. Each small act builds a bridge back toward trust, both in others and in God.

Above all, healing from grief and guilt is a spiritual journey. Madison learns, as we all must, that God is not distant in our sorrow. He is “close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). We can trust Him with our pain, even when we’re not ready to trust anyone else. He doesn’t rush our healing or shame our fears. Instead, He invites us to bring it all to Him—our tears, our questions, our guarded hearts. And slowly, in His time and in His way, He helps us open our hearts again.

If you’re walking through grief today, know that you are not alone. Like Madison, you may be guarding your heart out of fear. But healing is possible. Love is still real. And trust, though fragile, can grow strong again—one faithful step at a time.

About Madison’s Mission:

Step into the captivating world of Boldt Castle in 1903, where dreams are forged in the fires of adversity and love.

Madison Murray, the devoted maid to the legendary Louise Boldt, harbors a singular mission—to care for her ailing mistress while hiding her own painful past. Her life takes an unexpected turn when she meets Emmett O’Connor, the distinguished foreman overseeing Boldt Castle’s extravagant construction. Their connection sparks with promise, yet the chasm of class difference and hidden secrets loom large.

Just as their budding romance begins to flourish, tragedy strikes, shattering their world. A deadly accident leaves Emmett wrestling with guilt and at the center of an investigation that could unravel everything he holds

 

dear. Then Madison finds herself ensnared in a dangerous coverup that threatens her very life.

When Mrs. Boldt passes away, Madison is left reeling—jobless and burdened by the weight of her perceived failures. In a world filled with uncertainty, can she summon the strength to move forward and confront her past? Will Emmett rise above his challenges to forge a future alongside the woman who has captured his heart?

Susan G Mathis is an international award-winning, multi-published author of stories set in the beautiful Thousand Islands, her childhood stomping ground in upstate NY. Susan has been published more than thirty times in full-length novels, novellas, and non-fiction books. She has fifteen in her fiction line including, The Fabric of Hope: An Irish Family Legacy, Christmas Charity, Katelyn’s Choice, Devyn’s Dilemma, Sara’s Surprise, Reagan’s Reward, Colleen’s Confession, Peyton’s Promise, Rachel’s Reunion, Mary’s Moment, A Summer at Thousand Island House, Libby’s Lighthouse, Julia’s Joy, Emma’s Engagement and Madison’s Mission. Her book awards include four Illumination Book Awards, four American Fiction Awards, three Indie Excellence Book Awards, five Literary Titan Book Awards, two Golden Scroll Awards, a Living Now Book Award, and a Selah Award. Susan is also a published author of two premarital books, two children’s picture books, stories in a dozen compilations, and hundreds of published articles. Susan makes her home in Northern Virginia and enjoys traveling around the world but returns each summer to enjoy the Thousand Islands. Visit www.SusanGMathis.com/fiction for more.

Susan’s website: https://www.susangmathis.com/fiction-books

Buy links: Amazon | Barnes&Nobles |

Social media links: Website |Author Central |  Facebook | Twitter | Blog | InstagramGoodreads l Book BubPinterest | 

Madison’s Mission book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viMY4EJLRZc

Exploring Themes of Healing and Hope

By Susan G Mathis

 

Inflicting pain on beloved characters is always a delicate endeavor for writers, especially me. And writing Julia’s Joy was an interesting, and sometimes painful journey.

Julia’s sorrow is palpable; her parents’ untimely deaths left her with a void that was hard to fill. This loss manifests in various ways—through her reluctance to connect with others and her initial determination to leave Sister Island after claiming her inheritance. Her journey is not just about physical relocation but a deeper emotional struggle to reconcile her past with her present.

Julia’s confusion following her grandmother’s death adds another layer to her character. She arrives on Sister Island intending to lay claim to her inheritance but quickly finds herself grappling with questions of identity and belonging. The island represents both a sanctuary and a reminder of her losses, creating a tension that is difficult for her to navigate.

William Dodge, the Sister Island lighthouse keeper, becomes a pivotal figure in Julia’s healing process. His own past betrayal mirrors Julia’s struggles, allowing them to connect on a deeper level. As Julia begins to open up to him, the walls he has built around his heart also start to crumble. This vulnerability is both a relief and a source of pain as it forces both to confront their unresolved grief.

The journey toward healing is rarely linear, and Julia’s path is fraught with setbacks. As she starts to embrace the peaceful, faith-filled environment of Sister Island, she is faced with moments of profound joy and deep sorrow. This duality reflects the complexity of grief—how moments of happiness can coexist with lingering pain. Julia’s internal conflict amplifies the emotional stakes of the narrative and keeps readers invested in her journey.

I hope Julia’s Joy will take you on a journey of transformation and bless you.

About Julia’s Joy:

She came to claim her inheritance, but the mysterious scarred lighthouse keeper makes her question all her plans.

When Julia Collins reluctantly sets foot on Sister Island, compelled by her wealthy grandmother’s will, she is intent on claiming her inheritance and moving on. But when she experiences the peaceful, faith-filled island life, and connects with the handsome lightkeeper, William, Julia finds herself confronting her open wounds from her parents’ deaths.

William Dodge, lightkeeper of Sister Island, harbors a heart hardened by a past betrayal. Between that and his chronic pleurisy, he wants nothing to do with love. But when Julia arrives on the island bursting with vitality and unconventional notions, William’s world is turned upside down. As she chips away at the walls William has built for himself, he finds his reluctance waning.

But just as love begins to blossom between them, Julia is faced with a tempting proposal from a prominent Brockville family. Will she succumb to societal expectations or choose the richness of her island life and the love of the steadfast lightkeeper?

About Susan:

Susan G Mathis is an international award-winning, multi-published author of stories set in the beautiful Thousand Islands, her childhood stomping ground in upstate NY. Susan has been published more than thirty times in full-length novels, novellas, and non-fiction books. She has thirteen in her fiction line including, The Fabric of Hope: An Irish Family Legacy, Christmas Charity, Katelyn’s Choice, Devyn’s Dilemma, Sara’s Surprise, Reagan’s Reward, Colleen’s Confession, Peyton’s Promise, Rachel’s Reunion, Mary’s Moment, A Summer at Thousand Island House, Libby’s Lighthouse, and Julia’s Joy, the second in her three-book lighthouse series. Her book awards include three Illumination Book Awards, four American Fiction Awards, three Indie Excellence Book Awards, five Literary Titan Book Awards, two Golden Scroll Awards, and a Selah Award. Susan is also a published author of two premarital books, two children’s picture books, stories in a dozen compilations, and hundreds of published articles. Susan makes her home in Northern Virginia and enjoys traveling around the world but returns each summer to enjoy the Thousand Islands. Visit www.SusanGMathis.com/fiction for more.

Where can people find you online?

Susan’s website: https://www.susangmathis.com/fiction-books

Buy links: Amazon | Barnes&Nobles | Wild Heart Books

Social media links: Website |Author Central |  Facebook | Twitter | Blog | InstagramGoodreads l Book BubPinterest | 

Julia’s Joy book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rq7XLUohjrA

 

 

Susan Mathis, author of Libby’s Lighthouse

You have a new three-book series called Love in a Lighthouse. Tell us about that, please:

Join the Row-family women, Libby, Julia, and Emma, as they navigate the isolation, danger, and hope for lasting love at three different Thousand Island lighthouses in the St. Lawrence River.

Libby’s Lighthouse

Book One coming July 16, 2024

When a lighthouse keeper’s daughter finds a mysterious sailor with amnesia, the secrets she uncovers may change her life forever.

Elizabeth Montonna, daughter of the Tibbett’s Point Lighthouse keeper, thought she’d love the lighthouse life forever—until her mother, on her deathbed, reveals a long-buried secret. Now Elizabeth’s world has been turned upside down, making her question if she’ll ever truly belong and be loved. But when a dashing young sailor appears on her shore, wounded and disoriented, she finds purpose in helping him recover. Although the man knows nothing about his past or identity, his kindness and character steal a little more of her heart each day. If only she knew his full name.

When Owen awakes on the shore of Lake Ontario with no knowledge of who he is, or where he was headed when his ship wrecked, he has no choice but to accept the hospitality of the lighthouse keeper and his lovely daughter. But as Owen works to repay their kindness, and his relationship with Libby turns into something more, he knows their budding romance can go no further until he uncovers his past.

With each passing day, Owen inches closer to discovering the secrets of his identity, but will the revelations bring him closer to Libby or tear them apart forever?

Julia’s Joy

Book two coming October 29, 2024

She came to claim her inheritance, but the mysterious lighthouse keeper makes her question all her plans.

When Julia Collins reluctantly sets foot on Sister Island, compelled by her grandmother’s will, she is intent on claiming her inheritance and moving on. But when she experiences the peaceful, faith-filled island life and connects with the handsome lightkeeper, William, Julia finds herself confronting her open wounds from her parents’ deaths.

William Dodge, lightkeeper of Sister Island, harbors a heart hardened by a past betrayal. Between that and his chronic pleurisy, he wants nothing to do with love. But when Julia arrives on the island bursting with vitality and unconventional notions, William’s world is turned upside down. As she chips away at the walls William has built for himself, he finds his reluctance waning.

But just as love begins to blossom between them, Julia is faced with a tempting proposal from a prominent Brockville family. Will she succumb to societal expectations or choose the richness of her island life and the love of the steadfast lightkeeper?

Emma’s Engagement

Book three coming January 21, 2025

Emma Row embarks on a journey that will test her resilience and love. She marries Michael Diepolder, the Rock Island Lightkeeper and widower, a man who seeks a companion for both himself and his eleven-year-old daughter, Ada. But as she steps into the role of lightkeeper’s wife with a heart full of hope, little does she know that the idyllic setting conceals challenges that will shake the foundation of her happiness. Isolation creeps in, compounded by Ada’s determination to keep her father all to herself. As a storm looms, Emma must grapple with the difficulties of being a stepmother and lightkeeper’s wife. Will she find her place, or will the tumultuous waves of doubt and isolation tear them apart?

For Michael, Emma is not just a wife but the hope for his future. But the lighthouse life and being a stepmother proves harder for Emma than he ever imagined, and Ada’s animosity only intensifies it. When the lighthouse inspector questions Emma’s place due to her Canadian heritage and Ada become deathly ill, the very foundation of their family is shaken. Can their family find solace and unity on this tiny island?

Amid the swirling tempest of challenges, Emma, Michael, and Ada must discover the strength within themselves and each other to weather the storm. Emma’s Engagement is a poignant tale of love, resilience, and the enduring bonds that can form in the most unexpected places. This fictional story is based on the actual lives of Michael and Emma Diepolder.

What inspired you to write Libby’s Lighthouse?

My grandmother, Libby, inspired this story. When she was a young woman, she and her family lived in Cape Vincent, near Tibbetts Point Lighthouse, whose stories I tell in my first two books, The Fabric of Hope and Christmas Charity. During my childhood, every summer we would visit the lighthouse, and after Grandma died, my mother continued the tradition. I did the same, and I still visit the lighthouse every summer. When I started writing about the Thousand Islands, I knew I had to tell its story.

What kind of research did you do for Libby’s Lighthouse?

Though I visited the lighthouse annually, I also researched online, in books, and with interviews. With all the details I collected, I wove a story that is visceral, interesting, and I think, memorable.

Does one of the main characters hold a special place in your heart? 

I love Libby. Named after my beloved grandma who grew up in Cape Vincent, she’s a young woman who needs her broken heart healed but gives her all to help another. My characters become so real to me; they become friends. Smiles.

What were the key challenges you faced when writing this book?

Because I write about real places and people, I want to be as accurate as possible, so I have a Thousand Islands historian who read my story for accuracy. I also like to incorporate as many historic details to make sure my details were correct. Though it’s extra work, it always helps to check with the experts.

What message do you hope readers take away from Libby’s Lighthouse?

All twelve of my Thousand Islands’ stories have hope as the central theme. Hope for a better future. Hope for love. Hope for healing. Libby’s Lighthouse also focuses on adoption, amnesia, forgiving betrayals, healing broken hearts, and embracing God’s redemption.

About Susan:

Susan G Mathis is an international award-winning, multi-published author of stories set in the beautiful Thousand Islands, her childhood stomping ground in upstate NY. Susan has been published more than thirty times in full-length novels, novellas, and non-fiction books. She has twelve in her fiction line including, The Fabric of Hope: An Irish Family Legacy, Christmas Charity, Katelyn’s Choice, Devyn’s Dilemma, Sara’s Surprise, Reagan’s Reward, Colleen’s Confession, Peyton’s Promise, Rachel’s Reunion, Mary’s Moment, A Summer at Thousand Island House and Libby’s Lighthouse, the first in her three-book lighthouse series. Her book awards include three Illumination Book Awards, four American Fiction Awards, three Indie Excellence Book Awards, five Literary Titan Book Awards, a Golden Scroll Award, and a Selah Award. Susan is also a published author of two premarital books, two children’s picture books, stories in a dozen compilations, and hundreds of published articles. Susan makes her home in Northern Virginia and enjoys traveling around the world but returns each summer to enjoy the Thousand Islands. Visit www.SusanGMathis.com/fiction for more.

Where can people find you online?

Susan’s website: https://www.susangmathis.com/fiction-books 

Buy links: Amazon | Barnes&Nobles | Wild Heart Books

Book trailer: Libby’s Lighthouse book trailer

Social media links: Website |Author Central |  Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Blog | Goodreads l InstagramBook Bub

 

Mary’s Moment by Susan Mathis

Reading a Susan Mathis book is like vacationing in the Thousand Islands, an expanse of 1800 islands between New York and Canada. Her stories give us a fascinating glimpse into the gilded age and the history of the area.  Mary’s Moment, Susan’s latest treat, takes place during the summer of 1912.

Thousand Island Park’s switchboard operator ​Mary Flynn is christened the community heroine for her quick action that saves dozens of homes from a terrible fire. Less than a month later, when another disastrous fire rages through the Park, Mary loses her memory as she risks her life in a neighbor’s burning cottage. Will she remember the truth of who she is or be deceived by a treacherous scoundrel?

Widowed fireman George Flannigan is enamored by the brave raven-haired lass and takes every opportunity to connect with Mary. But he has hidden griefs of his own that cause him great heartache. When George can’t stop the destructive Columbian Hotel fire from eradicating more than a hundred businesses and homes, he is distraught. Yet George’s greater concern is Mary. Will she remember their budding relationship or be forever lost to him?

Readers of Christian historical romance will enjoy this exciting tale set in 1912 Thousand Island Park, NY.

ABOUT SUSAN:

Susan G Mathis is an international award-winning, multi-published author of stories set in the beautiful Thousand Islands, her childhood stomping ground in upstate NY. Susan has been published more than twenty-five times in full-length novels, novellas, and non-fiction books. She has ten in her fiction line including, The Fabric of Hope, Christmas Charity, Katelyn’s Choice, Devyn’s Dilemma, Peyton’s Promise, Sara’s Surprise, Reagan’s Reward, Colleen’s Confession, Rachel’s Reunion, and Mary’s Moment. Her book awards include two Illumination Book Awards, three American Fiction Awards, two Indie Excellence Book Awards, and four Literary Titan Book Awards. Reagan’s Reward is a Selah Awards finalist. Susan is also a published author of two premarital books, two children’s picture books, stories in a dozen compilations, and hundreds of published articles. Susan makes her home in Colorado Springs and enjoys traveling around the world but returns each summer to enjoy the Thousand Islands. Visit www.SusanGMathis.com/fiction for more.

Social media links: Social media links: Website |Author Central |  Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Blog | Goodreads l InstagramBook Bub